“My 20s have been the loneliest era in my life. I am surrounded by people but not connecting with anyone. Everyone is living their own lives while I am still waiting for mine to start. I feel lost between what I should be feeling and how I actually feel.”
It feels like life is just a rollercoaster of me being depressed and actually okay. Like I’ll be doing things for my mental health like sleeping properly, eating well, exercising, and actually feeling happy & distracted from all the bullshit. Then all it takes is one fucking thing and I forget how to function and have to start all over again.
It’s tiring. I don’t wanna be healthy anymore. I just wanna crawl up in a ball and wither away. But I don’t. But I do. But I don’t. Fuck me. Can’t even unalive myself because I still care what other people think and don’t wanna hurt them.
Why does it take so much time and effort to build yourself up, but something whether it be in or out of your control, can come along and knock it all over in an instant.
